There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
