fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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