So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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