call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
