the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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