i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
