i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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