on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
