Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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