Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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