So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
