we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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