Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
