I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
