I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Acid is not a monday night drug
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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