im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
