i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
