Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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