It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
