i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
