dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
