How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
