There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
