let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
