I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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