they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
