obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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