he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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