Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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