bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
