Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
me + whiskey = a bad person
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
