the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So. Much. Porn.
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