At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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