I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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