I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
