How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
