She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
