I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
