Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
