Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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