I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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