we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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