I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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