I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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