You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Terrible idea I love it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
