I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
