i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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