Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
