Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
