At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
