If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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