So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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