well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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