your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
