I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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