Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
