Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
