You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
