he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
