It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
