Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just fell off a train. Bad.
oh god the rape fog is back!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she looked like the before picture.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
