You made me cry and you don't even care
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
