When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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