He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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