Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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